Thirteen Abusive Behaviours

  1. Pushes for quick involvement: Comes on strong, pressures a new partner for an exclusive commitment almost immediately.
  2. Jealous: Excessively possessive; calls constantly or visits unexpectedly. Prevents you from going to work because "you might meet someone"; checks the mileage on your car.
  3. Controlling: Interrogates you intensely (especially if you are late) about whom you talked to and where you were; keeps all the money; insists you ask permission to go anywhere or do anything.
  4. Unrealistic expectations: Expects you to be the perfect mate and meet his or her every need.
  5. Isolation: Tries to cut you off from family and friends; accuses people who support you of "causing trouble." May deprive you of a phone or car, or try to prevent you from holding a job.
  6. Blames others for problems or mistakes: It's always someone else's fault if something goes wrong.
  7. Makes others responsible for his or her feelings: Says, "You make me angry," instead of "I am angry" or says, "You are hurting me by not doing what I tell you."
  8. Hypersensitivity: Is easily insulted, claiming hurt feelings. Rants about the injustice of things that are just part of life.
  9. Cruelty to animals or children: Punishes animals brutally, May expect children to do things far beyond their ability, or teases them until they cry.
  10. Verbal abuse: Constantly criticizes, degrades, curses, calls you ugly names. Could cause sleep deprivation and wake you with relentless verbal abuse.
  11. Sudden mood swings: Switches from sweet to violent in minutes.
  12. Past battering: Admits to hitting a mate in the past, but says the person "made" him or her do it.
  13. Threats of violence: Says things like, "I'll break your neck" or "I'll kill you," then dismisses them with, "Everybody talks that way" or "I didn't really mean it."

 

Thirteen Abusive Behaviours

  1. Pushes for quick involvement: Comes on strong, pressures a new partner for an exclusive commitment almost immediately.

  2. Jealous: Excessively possessive; calls constantly or visits unexpectedly. Prevents you from going to work because “you might meet someone”; checks the mileage on your car.

  3. Controlling: Interrogates you intensely (especially if you are late) about whom you talked to and where you were; keeps all the money; insists you ask permission to go anywhere or do anything.

  4. Unrealistic expectations: Expects you to be the perfect mate and meet his or her every need.

  5. Isolation: Tries to cut you off from family and friends; accuses people who support you of “causing t rouble.” May deprive you of a phone or car, or try to prevent you from holding a job.

  6. Blames others for problems or mistakes: It’s always someone else’s fault if something goes wrong.

  7. Makes others responsible for his or her feelings: Says, “You make me angry,” instead of , “I am angry,” or says, “You are hurting me by not doing what I tell you.”

  8. Hypersensitivity: Is easily insulted, claiming hurt feelings. Rants about the injustice of things that are just part of life.

  9. Cruelty to animals or children: Punishes animals brutally, May expect children to do things far beyond their ability, or teases them until they cry.

  10. Verbal abuse: Constantly criticizes, degrades, curses, calls you ugly names. Could cause sleep deprivation and wake you with relentless verbal abuse.

  11. Sudden mood swings: Switches from sweet to violent in minutes.

  12. Past battering: Admits to hitting a mate in the past, but says the person “made” him or her do it.

  13. Threats of violence: Says things like, “I’ll break your neck” or “I’ll kill you,” then dismisses them with, “Everybody talks that way” or “I didn’t really mean it.”